Sunday, December 11, 2005

Sowing a seed

I went yesterday to a small town with a large cathedral for a party given by Chirpy (who still needs a better name! git them lazy-ass brain cells workin', boy.) We've spoken and mailed a few times since the seminar, but without rekindling the spark that flashed between us that weekend. Seeing her standing in the doorway was close to a flashback, I had to choke back the memory of a tear. She was just as pretty as I remembered her, just as warm, direct and open. We didn't have much chance to talk on Saturday, but had a long and enjoyable conversation over breakfast (and cleaning up) this morning. Unfortunately, I had to leave at noon for work.

I'm smitten. I was quietly berating myself for not having immediately contacted her and insisted or begged that we meet after the seminar, what a waste of nine weeks. We will meet again in Stuttgart on Thursday, and I'm going back to STWALC for her New Year's Eve party.

I have no idea where this will take us - if indeed there is an "us" and a "taking" to be had, since it's clear that that she is in no hurry. I am trying not to bury this seedling in expectations and desires and possibilities, but simply to let it grow and see what it turns out to be: maybe a flower, or maybe just a potato. I shall try to live in the moment, to accept without judgement whatever comes to be.


Blogger brooksba said...

How exciting! I'm hoping the best for you.

December 12, 2005 at 1:40:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Belinda said...

Hey--sometimes potatoes are great! Good luck and Godspeed!

December 12, 2005 at 5:47:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Smitten? Really? Oh, how sweet! My 2nd favorite movie of all time (So I Married An Axe Murderer (which might actually say a lot about me)) has a line where Mike Meyers says "I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit." I love that line. I love that feeling.

This is so cool.

December 12, 2005 at 9:42:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Dale said...

Oh, good luck! SO hard not to bury these things in expectations!

December 13, 2005 at 12:16:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger The Lioness said...

Yes, very hard not to but look here, Udge is smitten! Smitten is good, smitten can be lovely, I am also hoping for the most exquisite best. And viel vergnuegen along the way!

December 13, 2005 at 7:36:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger zhoen said...

So, what is wrong with a potato? I rather like potatoes. They are nourishing and they last.

The excitiment is in guessing what is there, the joy comes in being happy when it is a sweet round tuber.

I wish you joy.

December 16, 2005 at 4:00:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Udge said...

Thanks for the good wishes, my dears. I shall keep be posting updates as and when they occur.

I suspected that the "potato" thing would provoke a reaction! Potatoes are fine, I like them boiled, fried, roasted, mashed, julienned and baked; but you would agree that they are not flowers?

Would anyone have leapt to its defence if I had said "... or maybe just a turnip"? But turnips are negatively loaded for me, I dislike them intensely and have memories of being tied down and force-fed them; and however un-flowerlike this seedling might turn out, I am quite confident that it will not be a turnip!

December 17, 2005 at 7:38:00 a.m. GMT+1  

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