Thursday, December 08, 2005

On acclimatisation

My kitchen sink was blocked again, how droll. At first I thought I would solve this problem in Mother Nature's way, i.e. through the application of large quantities of brute force, but after spending an amusing but fruitless quarter-hour with the plumber's friend, I decided "to hell with the environment" and poured a therapeutic dose of Drano down each plughole. It fizzled and stank nostril-searingly in its usual way, bubbling up dark-green slimy clumps of please-don't-tell-me-what-that-is, and then I confidently opened the taps to flush it all out. Imagine my consternation, when the sink proved itself to be still blocked, by filling up with diluted hydrochloric acid.

What to do? There's no way that I am going to put my hands into that, so bailing it out is impossible (in any case: into what?). Have to wait for it to trickle through by itself - ah, but what if the waiting takes so long that I forget that the stuff in the basins is hydrochloric acid, and put my hands in it?

Better write out a warning sign and hang it on the edge of the sink: "Achtung Säure!" in big black letters. Or should it say "Warning Acid!"? I really couldn't decide, because what if I wrote it in English but was thinking in German when I next re-entered the kitchen? I might not register the sign.

Dear reader, I was seriously considering putting up a bilingual warning sign for myself.

I must still be light-headed from the fever.


Blogger zhoen said...

Yes, well. You never know.

December 8, 2005 at 5:21:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger brooksba said...

I love it! I could just see the sign now. You should be safe too.

December 8, 2005 at 9:09:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

Sounds dangerous. I suppose dumping some gasoline down the drain and lighting that on fire would probably be out of the question. I don't even know if draino is explosive in the first place. Watch out for the vapours too!

December 8, 2005 at 10:17:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Anonymous noorster said...

That's the funniest thing I've read in days. Sorry.

December 9, 2005 at 3:31:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Anonymous eV said...

Now THAT is hilarious!

A brilliant post.

December 9, 2005 at 7:30:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Savtadotty said...

When it gets to this point, I think you'd better get a lock for the kitchen door and just lock yourself out until the fever passes. Multilingual literacy cannot be relied on.

December 9, 2005 at 8:18:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Try covering it with a towel and then put the warning sign up. Because you never know. Your brain may completely shut down and stop being able to read in either language. Hopefully the towel would distract you long enough.

December 9, 2005 at 7:11:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Belinda said...

That is just fantastic. Yes, bar the door!

December 11, 2005 at 8:26:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Liza said...

As I see it, the only solution is to move to another apartment. It would certainly solve your sink problems! :-)

December 12, 2005 at 11:33:00 a.m. GMT+1  

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