A different conversation
Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
"Good morning, Gallery M."
"Hey M., this is Udge."
We exchange the usual formalities, then get down to business.
"Listen, M., about this e-mail you sent me; or rather, about the attachment..."
M. is amused but plays innocent: "Yes?"
I too play innocent: "Yeah, thanks for the photo. She's very pretty, nice hairstyle."
M. tries to be cool, but I know that he knows that I know that there is something going on. He fails to repress a chuckle while saying: "That's good, I thought you'd like it."
M. had sent me without comment a photo of a young woman on her knees, naked, fellating an otherwise unseen man. I am not in the habit of getting porn by e-mail, nor (as far as I know) is M. in the habit of sending it. Something's up (if you'll pardon the expression).
"But, um, that painting on the wall behind her..."
M. is delighted. "Yes?"
"It's a Fetting, isn't it? Do you think it's original?" I hear him chortling. "Bloody hellfire."
M. laughs out loud. "Well, it's a pretty crappy photo, but yeah, it could be genuine. An original Fetting in the background of a porno shoot."
"Amazing."
"Yep, Famous Art-History Professor sent me the photo."
posted by Udge @ 22:52
6 Comments:
LOL.
Original art.
I love this.
"She's very pretty, nice hairstyle."
Not the typical male reaction. Cool.
What exactly is a Fetting? I could Google it but I am lazy. Plus your description would probably be more interesting.
Rainer Fetting was very popular, and very expensive, in the early '80s, but his star declined at the same time as the world economy. If you want an image of his style: call up an oil painting by an Old Master who wasn't interested in achieving a smooth surface, e.g. Rembrandt, and imagine that this contains a bit of still-life off in a corner, say a pair of apples on a plate, the size of your hand. Now visualise this still-life blown up to six feet square - including the blots and streaks and random brush-stroke textures.
Was it a portrait?
Oh, you answered while I was asking.
Still life with blow job. Okay.
This episode defines FAHP, M. and myself forever as "art geeks": when shown a photo of a blowjob, we looked at something in the background :-)
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