Rant

My partner's assistant Georgette (think of Ted Baxter) calls to relay a question.

"A customer with a single-seat version wants to be able to access it from two computers, is this possible?"

Sure, but it depends what they have in mind: do they mean simultaneously accessing the database, or just that both of them should be able to use it? The difference costs 2750 Euros.

"Oh, I don't know, I assume they mean simultaneously."

I am unable to restrain a sigh. How often must I repeat that making assumptions is a waste of our time and their goodwill? Never assume anything. If there's a point that you do not understand completely and unequivocally, then ASK THE DAMNED QUESTION and continue to ask it until they answer in a way that is unequivocally clear.

It's funny, people would rather risk annoying a customer by having to phone back for further information, or risk losing a customer by giving them false information, than spend another ninety seconds making sure that both sides have understood each other. What exactly is wrong with clarity?

Draw up close, children, and I'll tell you the great big secret of how to succeed in business - and indeed in life: Ask questions, and then listen to the answers. It's the essence of both sales and customer support - and indeed of friendship.

You have to find out what the (possible) customer wants.

I spend most of my time on customers' sites with my mouth shut and a pencil in hand; even when giving training courses I talk less than 80% of the time, for the rest I let the customers tell me what they want to do. There's no point illustrating your sales pitch by talking about managing a stamp collection, if the customer wants to manage a rubber-ball collection: she won't listen, because you do not address her needs. Find out what her problem is, and then show her how to solve it.

People don't buy features, they buy solutions. They buy "make my problem go away."

Sounds obvious, doesn't it? But I cannot persuade my partner or his assistants to do this. They seem to believe that the customer has to be driven to the sale with pointèd sticks like a sacrificial lamb to the altar. Perhaps it's an alpha-male thing: whoever speaks the most, has the biggest balls?

(It occurs to me while writing this down, that the answer to their question is spelled out completely and unequivocally on our website's FAQ, and also in the application's help files which the user has on his computer. What a waste of time it was to produce these, clearly not even Georgette has read them.)