On punctuality
Waiting for G and U to call, so that we can go to lunch (I only work there afternoons). G said they'd call "just before 1pm," well it is now 1:28 and I'm still waiting. This is absolutely typical of them, particularly of him: no more sense of time than a blind man has of watching television. They are late for 99 out of every 100 meetings, by up to two hours; and not just with me, they even treat their clients this way.
Try as I might, I cannot explain to them that it's not about a particular point-in-time, but about trust and reliability. I don't care in the least whether we meet at 1pm or at 1:30, as long as I know when we will meet. Had G told me, "we'll call at 1:30" I would have been just as happy - provided that he then did so. It's like a train timetable: I don't care at all how long the journey takes, provided that it takes no longer than is stated in the timetable.
Habitual lateness is an insult: it implies that my time is of no value, that I could have nothing better to do than to wait for them.
Labels: friends, pontificating
posted by Udge @ 13:28
4 Comments:
Don't come to the Middle East if you interpret unpunctuality as an insult. My trick is to retain some control of my time regardless of what anyone else says: even if I show up on time (which I usually still do because of early training) it means doing my own things while waiting. It also means dividing tickets to performances in advance, so I don't miss the overtures because of late friends. Provided the performances start on time, that is.
Totally with you on this one, Udge. Unpunctuality drives me nuts. I'm generally far too early for everything and have to hang around in cafes, reading.
For me too it is about respect and trust.
Having said that, I don't take it quite so personally if a train's late ....
I agree, and would never put up with it in a partner. But I have a passel of flaky friends that I have learned to value despite perpetual lateness. It's a different sense of time, an eternal optimism, distractibility. I plan around that, adjust, know that they are just that way, with no compelling reason to change. Some of them are married to each other. Only one takes a perverse pride in it, and claims he has it in his will to be delivered late to his own funeral.
If it is your friend's only real fault, best is to adjust and laugh.
I am with you on this one. I am punctual and it drives me batty when others are not maintaining their commitment to me. It feels like their word is not as valuable.
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