Spangled by the monkey

Savtadotty kindly tagged me for the Spanglemonkey meme, to help me out of my funk.

Who is the last person you high-fived?

I can't remember ever high-fiving anybody. I've been living in Europe for longer than certain blogging buddies of mine have been alive, we don't do that stuff here.

If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?

Yes, I'm clever and ruthless enough to get into the officers' corps and finagle a posting back to headquarters. But I wouldn't last a day on the battlefield.

Do you sleep with the TV on?

I don't watch TV, so also don't sleep in front of it. (Which is not to say that I haven't done this in the distant past.)

Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?

Yes, of course; doesn't everyone except Savtadotty?

Have you ever won a spelling bee?

Possibly, because I was always good at spelling, but I can't remember.

Have you ever been stung by a bee?

No. I used to be afraid of them but have more or less lost that (as opposed to overcoming the fear). I actually let a bee walk along my fingers once, on a dare, and found that it felt surprisingly pleasant: their furry little legs tickle you as they walk.

How fast can you type?

Very fast indeed. Every secretary in every office I've visited has commented on my speed. What they don't see, is that my accuracy is poor. My rate of keystrokes per minute is phenomenally high, but my rate of correctly-typed-words per hour is only middling.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Not really, but it depends where I am. I often enjoy sitting in the dark at home or in a park, or at the beach, but not in unfamiliar or enclosed places.

Eye colour?

Was dark brown, now stripey hazelish.

Have you ever made out at a drive-in?

I hang my head in shame and confess that I have never been to a drive-in at all, let alone making out at one.

When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower?

Oh, that would be at least 11 years ago. I haven't yet had a bath here in Stuttgart. I used to love spending Saturday mornings in the bath, with a thermos of coffee and a few good magazines (at the time, Private Eye and New Statesman), but the bathroom here is not conducive to lingering.

[Updated] I've just remembered something. One of the reasons I gave up my marathon Saturday morning baths was that the shops used to close at noon on Saturdays - and were of course locked tightly shut on Sundays - so if you wanted to do any shopping, you had to rise early and get cracking. The regulations were loosened a few years back to allow them to stay open until 2pm, and again recently to allow city-centre stores to stay open until 6pm, but my neighbourhood shops all close at 2pm. Sunday shopping is still verboten.

Do you knock on wood?

At least once daily.

Do you floss daily?

No.

Can you hula hoop?

Don't know, I've never tried. Probably not, I don't think I have the kind of flexibility it requires.

Are you good at keeping secrets?

Yes, as long as one tells me explicitly that it is a secret.

What do you want for Christmas?

Love and happiness. To be organized, efficient, well-paid and well-respected. A week on the beach flying my kite.

Do you know the Muffin Man?

... say what?

Do you talk in your sleep?

Not the last time I looked, but I do talk to myself nearly all the time I'm awake so I guess the odds are good.

Who wrote the book of love?

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Have you ever flown a kite?

Yes indeed, but not in the last few years. Loved it. Must find make time for that again.

Do you wish on your fallen lashes?

Never heard of that, so no I don't.

Do you consider yourself successful?

On my good days, yes; however, there are also days when I consider myself the biggest waste of oxygen in the CET time zone.

How many people are on your contact list of your cell?

101, if I read the display correctly. I find that hard to believe, surely that's counting telephone numbers not people?

Have you ever asked for a pony?

No, perhaps that's why I ended up here like this?

Plans for tomorrow?

Work. God, how my spirits sink writing that word :-(

Can you juggle?

Don't know, I've never tried. Probably not, I'm not that dexterous.

Missing someone now?

Yes, several someones in fact. I've often thought it a great pity, that life doesn't have a "reboot" button.

When was the last time you told someone I Love You?

Just over a week ago.

And truly meant it?

Now, there's a depressing question. Years ago.

How often do you drink?

Meaning alcohol? As good as never, one day a month at most; and then my limit is three beers or an equivalent measure of wine. I didn't set out to be teetotal, it's just happened this way. For some reason, at some time, I simply lost the taste for it.

How are you feeling today?

Miserable. I have an almost-migraine headache, a sore throat and dripping nose, incipient tennis elbow (again) in my left arm from too much typing, and a buttload of assorted worries. That most of them are of my own making doesn't particularly help.

What do you say too much?

"I thought that's how you wanted it, didn't we discuss this yesterday?"

Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?

Are you kidding? Never came close to it.

What are you looking forward to?

Two Ring Cycles, this summer in Toronto and next in NYC.

Have you ever crawled through a window?

I have a dim memory of having done this at a neighbour's house after she locked herself out, but I wouldn't swear to that.

Have you ever eaten dog food?

Is this a trick question? No.

Can you handle the truth?

"Just because something is true, doesn't mean that you must say it." Depends on the presentation and the subject. In my experience, people who ask whether you can handle the truth, are asking for permission to abuse and insult you.

Do you like green eggs and ham?

On paper, hardbound, yes; I'd probably run a mile to avoid them on a plate.

Any cool scars?

No, and no tattoos either. What a shallow-water, seatbelt-fastened, sheltered life I have lived.

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No tags will be issued; if this meme speaks to you then go with it.