Monday, June 04, 2007


It feels odd to be on my own again, to spend a day without talking to anyone—face-to-face, that is, e-mail and telephone don't count; to be hearing German instead of Spanish or English; to be sitting instead of walking; to be in a city which is known to me, with no immediate prospect of leaving it; to be listening to traffic noises instead of the wind and birdsong; to have nowhere to go.

It feels odd to see around me normal people going about their dailynesses with the usual blend of self-absorbtion and blithe oh-the-unimportance-of-it-all, rather than the purposeful directedness of the pilgrims (whom we were not).

It feels odd to have to think about w*rk again, suddenly to have deadlines and targets instead of leisure and a very active kind of slothfulness.

It feels odd to be in the well-known squalor and disarray of my own home, the home of my making, rather than the clean, pretty and comfortable hotels (and L's apartment) of weeks past.

I am not particularly happy here.

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Blogger Lioness said...

Must be in the water. I'm sorry you're not, you should you deserve it. Not that THAT ever means much, as life goes.

Do you know what I find helps? No clutter. It's not that unhappiness doesn't find me when things are tidy, it's more that tidiness is my anchor. I find the way up more easily. I may not be able to control much but I can control my immediate environment. Misery in peaceful surroundings is much more bearable.

If I were close I'd gladly tidy your closets and help you organise things, I'm excellent at that. But I am here. So could I suggest tackling hotspots one at a time? Take small portions and tidy those, slowly slowly, not seeing it as a chore but as a present to yourself. I hate everything that's housework related but I love a clean, tidy place, and I bloody well deserve a clean, tidy place. Would it help?

June 4, 2007 at 10:07:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Savtadotty said...

Apartment Therapy. It's a book. You can buy it (in English) from Amazon Germany. You don't have to wait for Rappy to get to your place: it's her curriculum! Your life will improve, I promise.

June 4, 2007 at 11:16:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Not happy with the apartment or the city or the country or the life?
What will be changing, besides the partners?

June 5, 2007 at 4:22:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Reminds me of the old Dobbie Gillis tv show, where Maynard G. Crebbs used to respond to the suggestion of getting a job with a jump and a little squeeky 'work?'

June 5, 2007 at 4:25:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Ooh, yeah, been there. Of course, maybe if I would actually clean my room, I'd do better. Hope things change for you soon.

June 5, 2007 at 6:17:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Udge said...

Thanks to all for the kind wishes and suggestions.

Progress report: after much prodding with verbal pointed sticks by the Lioness, I have made a start at cleaning the kitchen. Bedroom will follow.

June 6, 2007 at 12:45:00 p.m. GMT+2  

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