Monday, November 06, 2006

From a recent e-mail

> Do you still play the violin?

No, fool that I was at 18, I thought that I should do only one thing: either music or architecture. As though life were that simple, as though we (as species) were so feeble and unable.

I haven't played in 29 years [i.e. since leaving home to go to college]. I don't know why ... well that's a lie, I know exactly why I didn't keep playing during holidays when I was back in Toronto: fear. I was afraid that I would disappoint and hurt myself and my parents by how much I'd forgotten, how badly my playing had deteriorated, during term time; rather not do something at all than risk doing it badly.

Which goes back to childhood experience. I was a non-athlete (to put it mildly) in a crowd of jocks, I was the only one - apparently - who didn't know the rules and objectives of the various sports that were played. I realized quickly that one lost fewer points on the playground by not playing at all, than by playing badly. That became my way of dealing with any new challenge: not to deal with it.

In other news the meditation support-circle blog 100 Days has started a new cycle. "We've committed to one hundred days of daily meditation. If you want to join us, welcome! It doesn't matter what sort of meditation you do, or what faith or tradition you hail from. All that matters is the willingness to commit to daily meditation, and a desire to help others keep their commitment to meditate. Join us at any time - you don't have to start at Day 1. We'd be delighted to have your company." Hint for visitors: it's all about the comments :-)

In other other news it's a week old but still the funniest thing on the Internets: Dooce's dog Chuck, surely the most patient and best-natured doggie in the universe, dressed up for Hallowe'en as Darth Vader, Yoda and Princess Leia.

Six down, twenty-four to go.


Blogger brooksba said...

I understand the fear in not picking up something one used to do because skills may be a bit dusty. Sometimes it seems easier to not do it than to be disappointed. It sucks, but it's true.

Saw the pictures on Dooce's site. Quite the training on that dog!

November 6, 2006 at 1:04:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger mark said...

yes Udge-- much of what drives us is fear-- but, so what? You do what makes you happy, and fears come and go.

November 6, 2006 at 5:14:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

I don't know. So you've forgotten a little bit or all of it. Does that mean you can't learn again? Did you enjoy playing the violin?

I understand the fear, really I do, but sometimes you have to give the fear a good kick in the teeth and just have fun.

November 6, 2006 at 7:20:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Anonymous May said...

Of all the people I know that somehow tried to follow the classical music career, none succeeded in becoming famous. Some abandoned, some ended up teaching. Quite frustrating.

Perhaps you could play for yourself, at least at the beginning of your "second season" as a violinist.

November 6, 2006 at 7:28:00 p.m. GMT+1  

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