Thursday, December 21, 2006

What my neighbours heard today

Oh Christ, not again.

Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck. What is this shit?

Aaaaagh! NEIN!! Was soll das?

(whispers) Oh my God, I hope I saved it before doing that.

NO, damn you, "Standard" is NOT Courier, you goddamned piece of fucking shit! STANDARD!! Look, it says right there that Standard is Arial. WHY ISN'T IT ARIAL?

God, I hate this. Just kill me now, please.

What?!! Oh that's just an insult. You're doing this deliberately, aren't you?

I've been using Microsoft Word, could you tell?

I would be endlessly grateful, even to the extend of a Christmas or Hannukah present, to the reader who can tell me why Word doesn't change the font of a piece of text to be the font which is defined for this stylesheet when I apply the stylesheet to the text—or rather, how to make it do so. Why bother to define stylesheets, if applying them doesn't change my document? I don't understand.

It's obvious that no employee of Microsoft has ever used this product. Bah.

[Updated] And to make matters worse, I've just noticed that the screenshots are all wrong. Dear, sweet, dumb Georgette somehow did not notice that they don't look like what she sees on-screen every minute of the working day. I shall have to redo them myself. It is to cry, as the French say.

[Updated again] Astonishment reigns at Castle Udge: Georgette did notice that the pictures didn't resemble what she saw on-screen, but it didn't occur to her to think anything of it. I'm flabbergasted.



Blogger zhoen said...


December 22, 2006 at 1:52:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

You could always switch to a Mac.

December 22, 2006 at 3:58:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Udge said...

Ach, Joe: irony of ironies, I am a Mac user and fanatically pleased (if there is such a thing) to be. The problem is the software: appalling crap that Word is, it's still better than AppleWorks, more suitable for what we are doing. Perhaps we'll have to try Pages?

Zhoen: gracias! it was a bad day.

December 22, 2006 at 8:33:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, dear. I feel your pain. Been there, swore at the computer, kicked a lot of chairs.

I actually have no idea what a style sheet is, sorry. I usually swear at my computer a lot but it is mainly operator error. And I love word. Sorry. But I do.

And I HATE Arial. It's so boring. I like Garamond.

December 22, 2006 at 4:26:00 p.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Rob said...

I feel your pain. My work PC tries to put everything into Times New Roman, which must be one of the worst fonts ever.

And greetings of the season to you as well, my man! Glad you liked "West Bank Story".

December 23, 2006 at 3:04:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger brooksba said...

Okay, not to take joy in the frustration you felt, but your rant? And the fact that if your neighbors could hear meant it was loud? For some reason, this made me giggle. Probably because my neighbors hear equally loud cursing when something isn't working the way I want it to.

December 23, 2006 at 5:40:00 a.m. GMT+1  
Blogger Savtadotty said...

When I expressed displeasure at developers who changed interfaces after I'd sent obsolete screen captures to the publishers, they'd "console" me by saying, "Don't worry. Nobody reads the manual."

December 24, 2006 at 10:02:00 a.m. GMT+1  

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