They haven't quite figured it out

The Deutsche Post recently transformed itself into a privately owned company, as many European post offices have done. They have made giant strides in marketing (and profitability), but the service on offer, and the mentality to support it, is lagging far behind.

Example 1. I am a customer of the Postbank (the post office bank), and have been for over a year now. To become a customer, I filled out an eight (8) page form stating everything from my grandmother's date of birth to my shoe size. Recently, I decided to open a second account. They handed me the same eight page form to fill in. I refused: neither my shoe size nor my grandmother's date of birth has changed in the last twelve months; but more to the point, all this information is already in their computers. Why should I again fill in the same info by hand, so that some poor typist (they do still exist) can copy it into the same computer system?

Come on, guys, this is not rocket science. Here's some free consultancy work (call it Pro Bono and pat me on the head). "Date of birth" and "shoe size" are not attributes of a bank account, but of a person. One person may have many bank accounts. Separating the information about the account from the information about the person, will make your database smaller, faster and more robust, which in turn will make your lives easier. This is called normalization.

Example 2. I need to send a small package (a well-wrapped CD) to Munich, which absolutely must be there tomorrow morning. The DP offers an Express service which guarantees next-morning delivery if the package is handed over "on time". The service has two advantages over couriers: it's very much cheaper, and doesn't require me to sit around for hours waiting for the collection. So, what exactly does "on time" mean? Is it explained in the booklet which the DP popped into zig million mailboxes last month? No. Is it explained on the website? No.

I phone the Customer Service Hotline. She (why are hotlines always staffed by women?) couldn't tell me, because the time is different from one post office to the next, according to when their collection truck makes its rounds. Aha, but the truck runs on a timetable? Yes. Does she have the timetable? No. Could she tell me, then, the phone number of my local post office? No, "we don't give out that information." Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.

For the benefit of customers of the Deutsche Post, the Senefelderstrasse branch office is open Mondays to Fridays from 8:30 to 18:30 and on Saturdays from 8:30 to 13:00. Express post items are collected at 17:55, but you should allow at least 15 minutes for standing in line before then. It's on the corner of Leuschnerstrasse; the nearest public transport stop is "Schloss-Bebelstrasse" on the U-Bahn lines 4 and 9. It has a cash machine and a stamp machine, which are also accessible evenings and weekends.

[Update: most of this information is in fact available on the DP website, I just had tomatoes in front of my eyes (as the Germans say). Only the public transport info and - my immediate interest - the last posting time for Express service is not mentioned there.]