Monday, April 20, 2009

Blather, Monday edition

Alone in the office, after hours; sun's still up but the day is drawing to a close. It has somehow devolved to me to be the office dishwasher (except Fridays, when the cleaning lady comes), presumably because I am the least afraid of water and the most annoyed by dirty dishes. I wish that someone else might gather the courage and the wit to wash up once in a while, but I don't actually mind doing it and I do enjoy being alone in the office in these bright evenings.

<rant> for a friend who will never read this: Peel the bragging-labels off your damned glassware, already. It doesn't impress anyone, it just looks really tacky and nouveau-gormless. If the glasses are pretty, then we will admire them no matter how cheap they were, but if they are ugly, then our scorn will only be increased by knowing how much you paid for them.</rant>

Walking home the other day, I discovered a positive proof that time travel will be possible (and actually used) in the future: I found a door where there had never been one before. I have walked past a particular blank stone wall every other day for the last fifteen years, and until then it had always been blank. Now, there is a door in it. The door is clearly very old: the stonework is weathered and crumbling, the paint is chipping, the wood is shrinking with age. Nonetheless, regardless of how old the door may be in world-time, in the personal time of my memories I know with absolute and unshakeable certainty that it is new. Somebody travelled back in time and had the builders put that door in, for reasons that I cannot know.

This is what the results of time travel look like: Something changes around us, in a way that is both new to us and much older in the world. We presume that it must have always been there, chuckle over our presumed obtuseness and say "Oh, how can I have not seen that every other day for fifteen years?" But that's not true, we were aware and observant. It was not there yesterday, though today it has has been there for decades.

We are surrounded by time-travellers, meddling in the past in ways that seem trivial to us, although to them the reward of getting this doorway put in clearly outweighs the expense and bother of finding and persuading the stonemason. Perhaps it will be used by somebody's yet-unborn grandmother to escape from a future fire?

That'll have to do for now, my dearies. I am still alive and mostly well, I hope you are too. There is another post in the works, the second in the occasional series of What Second Life Is Really About; it'll be up sometime this week.

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Blogger Lioness said...

I love you. The end.

April 20, 2009 at 9:45:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Dale said...

(Oh, hell. He's on to us. Quick, distract him and take the damn door back out!)

April 20, 2009 at 10:33:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Pacian said...

It seems more likely to me that the time travel involved sending back an old door from the future. It probably hasn't even been made yet.

April 20, 2009 at 10:51:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Zhoen said...

I love you rant. Reminds me of the guys on the T with Red Sox hats, and the label still on the brim.

Just be sure to get into the right leg of the trousers of time, and beware of odd little shops that just appear, having been there forever.

April 20, 2009 at 10:58:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Shari said...

Very cool.
Open that door, and what will you find?

About the dish-washing. What's wrong with everyone washing their own dish, rather than leaving it dirty till the end of the day?
I've tried in vain to get my kids (ages 21 and 18) to do that, but as always, I come home at the end of the work day to find the sink and counters full of dirty dishes, a loving present to me, I suppose.

April 21, 2009 at 8:32:00 a.m. GMT+2  
Anonymous Andy said...

Loved the rant and the story of the door. One of your best-ever posts!

April 21, 2009 at 10:08:00 a.m. GMT+2  
Blogger den said...

This was a real tonic. I had just completed an on line memory test and was wondering wether to throw in the towel now! I will just blame meddling time travelers when I have the forgettingnessis.

April 21, 2009 at 10:11:00 p.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Udge said...

Thank you, my dears, I'm glad that you were pleased.

Den, welcome aboard!

April 22, 2009 at 12:03:00 a.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Bruce Oksol said...

When I was younger, my job took me to various offices around the world, where I was sent for a project which might last several weeks or months.

During those "extended stays," I met some very charming women while doing office dishes ...

April 22, 2009 at 2:40:00 a.m. GMT+2  
Blogger Bruce Oksol said...

It appears there are some charming women who follow this site.

By the way, I loved the posting about the Microsoft Touch Screen Tablet (see your Twittering sidebar).

April 25, 2009 at 5:52:00 p.m. GMT+2  

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