In which things are brought up to date

Cold (11°C) and grey and rainy. Blah. Writing at home while waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle, then to Rose Street this afternoon.

The Münstermeister called last Thursday, while I was packing for my trip to London: They have withdrawn the offer of full-time employment, because he doesn't have a budget for my salary. They are pleased with my work and do wish to continue the present 20-hours-a-week arrangement; however, they appreciate that I cannot live on that and would fully understand if I should prefer to take a different full-time job elsewhere.

I am flabbergasted that such a budgeting failure can apparently occur out of the blue, and somewhat shocked at the laxness it implies. What if I had signed that first contract and loaded my stuff on the moving van? They would presumably have cancelled the contract under the "probation period" clause and left me adrift there. Nice.

I don't know what to say about this. I had come to accept the idea of moving away, and have broken ties commercially with G and U (other than finishing a current competition and ... but I am getting ahead of myself). And I was even looking forward to proper employment again, with coffee breaks and paid holidays and the whole damned thing. I shall polish my resumé and try elsewhere.

M2 gave me a homework assignment when we met in Second Life on that Thursday evening: to daydream a little about what I want my life (and myself) to be, bearing in mind both my fiftieth birthday and the withdrawal of the job offer. I'm sorry to confess that I didn't do it, I spent my time eating and drinking and watching TV (spits on the ground) and hanging out with family instead. But it will be done. Oscar gave me a book for my birthday, "Walking in this world: practical strategies for creativity," and BB another, "How to see yourself as you really are" by the Dalai Lama or his ghostwriters (alpacas, perhaps). I shall take these as the well-intended friendly nudges they are, and try to shape Version Two of myself for the next fifty years.

Funny how habits can depend on context and environment. In my normal life I am surrounded by music: iPod, internet radio, CD player etc. In England, there was no music and I didn't miss it at all. In London last week, I very quickly got used to watching an hour or two of TV every day (evenings mostly). Back home, it hasn't occurred to me to switch my TV on.

The architects have been selected for yet another competition, a multi-storey parking garage. Hooray! I am fascinated by garages and parking lots and the like, and my final-year thesis project was just such a building. I will do this competition with/for G and U. The deadline is in October, so there should be plenty of time to get it sorted out.